By Helen Blackburn

Let us start at the beginning: a tale of love, friendship and community.

Jake Howes is a young man whose strength and love of life would make many a strong man weak. He shares love, light and life with all he meets. Jake is registered blind and has cerebral palsy, affecting all limbs, neuromuscular scoliosis of the spine, epilepsy and a severe learning difficulty. He is dependent on 24-hour care, given to him by his parents, Helen and Alistair.

Jake’s was a normal birth, born healthy, but he became very ill a week later, leading to the biggest fight for his life. Sadly, the outcome left him with the scars of that fight, becoming brain damaged and the consequences are the conditions described previously.

Jake, who recently celebrated his 21st birthday, has faced numerous challenges during his life and none more savage than earlier this year. The scoliosis, which had been well managed and maintained, raised its ugly head and his spine with its curvature and twist, deteriated at an alarming rate.

Covid played its part, seeing Jake have two cancellations for the spinal rodding surgery he so badly needed. The day Jake eventually went under the knife had to happen and thankfully at that time, Jake’s parents were ignorant of the delicate thread of life expectancy he was actually on.

Men like Jake don’t come along often and we do not refer to his disability in this statement. Jake has a zest for life and a true grit; the stuff legends are made of and as such projects a determination and resiliance to enjoy his life to the best of his ability.

” Our Jake ” has become a familiar face within the Romany, Gypsy and Travelling communities, in England, Wales, Ireland,. Scotland and around the world it’s fair to say. Mother, Helen, is an avid photographer and is drawn to a bonny wagon, a beautiful cob and dray. This, being Mother’s passion, sees the family visit many of the fairs in the north of England where they live, and through which they have gained many good friendships and met some very interesting and talented folk. Jake however, is the ultimate charmer…he charms all those he meets!!

The result of Jake’s surgery meant that he would require specialist seating to accommodate his body’s rigid position and restrict any further deteriation of his spine, hips and pelvis. In short, he requires moulded seating in his wheelchair. Yet another hurdle to jump to be able to enjoy an outdoor life….

The family, not ones for giving up, researched an all-terrain wheelchair, which could have such seating as needed adapted. This would be able to traverse grass, gravel and sand but with such a hefty price tag, as always the way with disability aids, an impossible dream for the family.

 

Fast forward a few weeks: “You did that for Me?!”

 

“Its only money !”…”If you don’t, we gonna anyway !!”

The phrases that still ring in my ears now. We will never forget them that’s for sure. The dealing men can be very persuasive we have found and yes, had us agreeing to what would normally have horrified us and that was to set up a fund page in Jake’s name.

That way friends could give; give a little hope and love. Oh my, who could have predicted the journey and the generosity and actions that were to be taken from that point? I think Rosie Lee’s crystal ball might just have steamed right up !

The post set off on social media and steady away the money began to accumulate.   We dared to think, at that point. ‘There’s a wheel,” we thought.  Steady, steady and hang on there. Look at that!  The donations came in from far and wide. Mostly, folk we knew, others we knew of and friends of friends soon on the list too.

Some donations flooring us – almost literally, leaving our mouths hanging open like unhinged doors. Then another friend suggests, as they do, how about a drive for Jake?

That saw us travelling to Scotland, to lovely town of Selkirk and yup, yup, a fine display and warm welcome.  Our Jake loving seeing many familiar faces and attracting attention, and by now, it’s fair to say, he has become quite the cheeky chappy.

From the borders of Scotland, to the north East of England, cob and carts trotted away in rain and sun with drivers filled with  ‘that good feeling’ , that feeling of pride and self-satisfaction that comes when you help someone in need. To say, the whole giving and helping took off like a snowball rolling off a church roof.

Raffle prizes were offered and sent from talented Romany artists from all parts of the country with ticket sales going like hot cakes. The buzz incredible from all walks of life to be part of the campaign.  A message came forward: I will do any challenge you set me, I will do anything to help that lad.  I will swim the channel and I can’t even swim!”

That really touched our hearts and also made us giggle.

As a family, we always go to Yarm at the back end of the year, to see friends and watch the riding of the horses and muse at the length of the Lord Major’s trumpet. Joking aside, Yarm Fair, may not be the horse sale it once boasted to be but the heart of the past is kept alive by good folk. They keep tradition alive and it’s a time we really look forward to.

Appleby is the biggest and best, yes – but these smaller fairs allow closer reunions. It’s always a great atmosphere at Yarm, we love it. We have made some lifelong friendships there and when I was tapped on the shoulder, turning to have a sealed pot confront me, filled to the brim with money.

Well, my heart nearly jumped right out of my chest. Never did we expect or imagine such kindness. The good folks had collected for ‘our Jake’ and without any great expectation of their giving, other than uttering the words,” that’s what friends do !!”

The kindness and love we were being shown was truly, at times,  overwhelming. We always have managed as a family. Just the four of us and the dog. We don’t have carers come in cause they just never meet Mam’s standards for Jake and we are a stubborn, proud lot! So, you can now imagine, how awkward this whole money giving has been in some ways, but the way it has been given, the love, the laughter and smiles, the incredible feeling of being part of a big team; a big family. We will never ever forget that.

Now, our Jake loves music and was weaned on traditional Irish Folk. With that in mind, imagine the excitement when one of Ireland’s top traditional folk singers and songwriters, Daoiri Farrell, dedicated a covid corner session to Jake, with proceeds towards the wheelchair.

What a night he gave us with a magical set and deadly performance and the coffers in the pot going up and up and up.

There was hardly time to settle from all that had gone before. Within 30 days so much activity and fun, so much love and kindness. Our final outing and another heart- bursting moment was to travel up to Kielder Water, to witness our friend, Sarah, complete her gruelling sponsored walk, from Scotland to England. A traverse of over 14 .5 miles. We were in awe of her dedication, her commitment to our Jake. Every step was for him and she meant every word of that statement.

To conclude and thank you for taking the time to read this tale…a story of friendship and love. I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know about the true values that the Gypsy, Roma, Traveller communities hold close in their hearts.

Within a short time, the amount given in excess of £7000. A testament to how Gypsies, travellers, dealing men can make such a positive life changing difference to one family who isn’t part of the GRT community but has been welcomed with open arms into it and treated like their own.

We can’t thank everyone enough, the GRT community and our friends and friends of our friends. Thank you doesn’t seem enough.